On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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