i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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