check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
