dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I have tasted many bathrooms
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
