apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
