is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
