I want to make a zoo with you.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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