i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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