Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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