You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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