yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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