Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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