Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
