the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
