i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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