did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
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We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
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I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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