I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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