She announced her abortion via fbk
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
