K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
