My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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