first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize