I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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