just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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