I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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