after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
