at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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