Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
