he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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