I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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