just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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