wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Randomize
