any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
