5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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