just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
