There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
