So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
