so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
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