also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
