There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
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Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
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