I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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