my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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