I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
