Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
