I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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