Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize