And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
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Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
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He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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