Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Randomize
