It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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