I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
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Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
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The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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