I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
