you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
