After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
