Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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