Pappa wants mamma naked
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
