Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
