He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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