i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
