Who wears a wallet chain?!
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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