no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
