hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize