in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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