erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
