I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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